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Born within sight of the snows of Kilimanjaro John rode his first elephant at age six. Partly raised by his Orangotang wet nurse who instilled in the lad two things that have helped him throughout his illustrious life!

Firstly the importance of body hair, the fellow is truly, in the words of that famous book dictated by Dog, "An hairy man".

"Has been known when under stress to take on the guise of the Nepali Yeti"

                                             N.Y Times celebrity review August 14 1993.

The second gift was the love of the vegetarian diet which has cultivated over the years a flatulator of supreme standing. His family crest carries the famous words: "Flatuatus Terminus Supreemeartus", meaning He who farts best farts last!

Loved by all this young fellow has the voice of a song bird.

            I can recommend this young man as a dedicated watcher of work.

            Yours truly...Albert.

            Anyone seen a stray sock?